Language and non-communication

This is the text of a letter which came to us (and all parents) from my children’s primary school:

Late last week there was a serious incident which was dealt with promptly beginning with ensuring the safety of children and staff. The incident was then addressed following [school name]’s procedures and Department of Education guidelines. Due to the seriousness of the incident the highest level action was immediately implemented.

I defy anyone to figure out what actually happened!

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